by Terina Allen, Forbes Magazine, 10/1/18.
… A victim mindset is formed over time and determined by the aggregate of what we regularly think, how we speak, where we focus our attention and the language we choose to use. Avoid allowing your mind to obsess over all the wrong that may have been done to you and channel that energy into more effectively overcoming obstacles and removing barriers.
Just as you can find many people who have had it better than you, if you look objectively, you will also find many people who have had it worse than you. While your feelings and thinking about the wrongdoing may be valid, dwelling on it too much will surely prevent you from realizing your potential. You can spend so much time lamenting the horrible things in your past that it prevents you from taking the steps you need to create a better future and advance your career.
Before you advance your life and career, you will need to change your mindset. Here are some things that can help you do that.
- Surround yourself with uplifting and supportive people who will offer a listening ear. Turn to these friends from time to time for your pity party (we all need these sometime) but then allow them to nudge you through it so you don’t get stuck.
- Intentionally choose to use more positive and forward-thinking language in your communications.
- Adopt a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset. Those with a growth mindset tend to better prepare for and respond to change. They also tend to be better equipped to overcome challenges and persevere through them.
- Read inspirational material and resist the temptation to wallow in regret. Regret can cause you to inadvertently become trapped in a cycle of negative thinking and speaking that holds you back.
- Utilize any employment assistance programs or services your organization may offer, or reach out for professional advice and counseling as necessary – especially if you just can’t move beyond the negative thinking or forces in your life.