by Michael Schwantes, Inc. Magazine, 4/4/18
1. They put boundaries on people who make them angry…
It’s saying to yourself, “I’m not going to allow this person to push my buttons, take advantage of this situation, or disrespect my authority.” Then following through on it.
2. They get to the bottom of why they’re really angry.
Emotionally intelligent people realize the reason for their anger may run deeper than what they’re experiencing on the surface. They probe, process, do a deep dive, and ask themselves, “What’s really beneath my anger?” By stepping back and looking at root causes, you’ll soon realize that your anger is really a reaction to whatever is disturbing you,.,Then tell yourself with brutal honesty, “The real reason I’m angry is … ”
3. They respond, not react.
Chuck Swindoll once said, “The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.” Emotional intelligent people have the advantage because they assess a situation, get perspective, listen without judgment, and hold back from reacting head on.
4. They take a six-second pause.
Why six seconds? The chemicals of emotion inside our brains and bodies usually last about six seconds. During a heated exchange, if we can pause for a short moment, the flood of chemicals being produced slows down…
5. They are the first to reach out after an argument.
6. They shift to the positive…
Have a gratitude meditation. Take out a piece of paper and spend two minutes making a list of all the things you’re grateful for in the last 24 hours. Positive psychologist Shaw Achor says if you do this simple exercise for 21 straight days, you’ll be training your brain to scan for positives instead of negatives.
Read more at … https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/6-mental-habits-of-people-who-manage-their-emotions-remarkably-well.html
by Michael Schwantes, Inc. Magazine, 3/24/18.
In “Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership” authors Don Frick and James Sipe describe these helpful approaches:
- Listen without interruption, objections, or defensiveness.
- Be willing to hear the speaker out without turning the table.
- Ask questions for clarification.
- Make it clear what kind of feedback you are seeking and why it is important to you.
- Offer a structure for the feedback–questions, rating scales, stories.
- Be clear with your commitment.
- Describe how you have benefited from the feedback and what specific steps you will take toward improvement. This builds bridges and trust with others.
From “6 Smart Habits That Will Lead to a Fulfilling Life,” read more at … https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/6-inspiring-lessons-about-success-most-people-will-learn-too-late-in-life.html
by Michael Schwantes, Inc. Magazine, 3/24/18.
… Your success is only as good as the people whom you surround yourself with.
Pick your network wisely, it could make or break you. Billionaire Warren Buffett once told a 14-year-old kid at a Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting one of the keys to his success: “It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.”
He taught a life lesson for all of us about absorbing the very qualities and traits of successful people further down the path than us — people with skills and traits that will elevate and make us better as leaders, workers, and human beings.
From “6 Smart Habits That Will Lead to a Fulfilling Life” read more at … https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/6-inspiring-lessons-about-success-most-people-will-learn-too-late-in-life.html
Commentary by Dr. Whitesel: Ken Blanchard and Renee Broadwell‘s new book includes chapters by 44 well-known practitioners of servant leadership. Therefore, it is an excellent introduction to servant leadership principles. Here are some of the quotes that you will find in the book: “Servant Leadership in Action: How You Can Achieve Great Relationships and Results.”
“9 Inspiring Quotes From One of the Most Anticipated Leadership Books Ever Published” by Michael Schwates, Inc. Magazine, 3/21/18.
1. Marshall Goldsmith, the world’s leading executive coach and author of the bestseller,Triggers. On the one question every servant leader should ask: The next time you run into a conflict, ask yourself this question: ‘Am I willing, at this time, to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic?’
Like closing our office door so people hesitate before they knock, asking ourselves [this question] gives us a thin barrier of breathing room — time enough to inhale, exhale, and reflect on whether the outcome we seek is a true positive that is intended for the benefit of others, or a false positive that is intended to polish our own image. For servant leaders who want to make serving others their primary mission, that’s a vital distinction…
4. Michael Bush, CEO of consulting firm Great Place to Work. On acknowledging the human potential of all workers: [Servant leaders] also reject what’s been common management practice for decades: claiming people are your greatest asset but really valuing only about 10 percent or so of the souls in the upper echelons of the company. That elitist approach to business leaves human potential on the table, ultimately letting down individuals who work there as well as the business itself.
5. Simon Sinek, author of three bestselling books, including Start with Why.
On creating a culture of vulnerability: Creating a space in which people can feel vulnerable means a person can walk into their boss’s office to admit a mistake without fear of losing their job. It means someone can raise their hand and ask for help, admit they have been given a responsibility they don’t feel prepared or knowledgeable enough to complete, or admit they are scared without any fear of humiliation or retribution. We trust that the servant leader will come running to our aid. This is what happens inside great organizations. In contrast, in a work environment that lacks good servant leaders, people will go out of their way to follow the rules at all costs, cover up mistakes, and deny accountability. Remember United Airlines?
6. Brené Brown, famous researcher and author of three #1 New York Times bestsellers, including Daring Greatly.
On recognizing and combating shame: Servant leadership and shame culture cannot coexist for a simple reason: the foundation of servant leadership is courage and shame breeds fear. Shame crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust.
Read more at … https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/9-inspiring-quotes-from-one-of-most-anticipated-leadership-books-ever-published.html
Excerpted from “7 tough lessons people often learn too late in life” by Nicolas Cole, Inc. Magazine, 9/6/16.
If possible, it’s best to learn these things sooner rather than later…
4. Your emotions take practice
When we think about practice, we often talk in terms of skill. You practice the piano, or you practice playing hockey. But the thing is, who you are emotionally also takes practice. You can practice humility, you can practice forgiveness. You can practice self-awareness and humor, just as easily as you can practice anger, resentment, drama, and conflict. Who you are, emotionally, is a reflection of the things you consciously (or unconsciously) practice. You were not “born” upset. You have merely practiced that emotion far more than you have, say, joy.
5. Everyone has his or her own agenda
This is quite a cliché phrase, and is often said in a negative context. But I am using it differently: It is worth acknowledging that, at the end of the day, we all must provide for ourselves. We all have our own dreams, goals, aspirations, families, close friends, and significant others, and we all want the same fundamental things. There are those you can trust, of course, but the best way to keep yourself rooted and at ease is to know that each and every person has his or her own agenda. You cannot control others. You cannot expect them to put you before themselves. And trying to do so may work for a period of time, but eventually, the truth will rise to the surface. Instead, make it a point to address and help others move toward their own dreams, as you request their help in moving toward yours. The relationship will more smoothly move in the right direction this way.
Read more at … https://www.inc.com/nicolas-cole/7-crucial-lessons-people-learn-too-late-in-life.html
by Marissa Levin, the founder and CEO of “Successful Culture,” and author of “Built to Scale: How Top Companies Create Breakthrough Growth Through Exceptional Advisory Boards,” Inc. Magazine, 3/19/18.
“If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.” ~Calvin Coolidge
“Pessimism never won any battle.” ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” ~John F. Kennedy
“What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” ~Abraham Lincoln
On Community & Circles of Influence:
“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.” ~George Washington
“Never waste a minute thinking about people you don’t like.” ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, then you are a leader.” ~John Quincy Adams
On Persistence & Resilience:
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” ~Calvin Coolidge
“In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten, then he who continues the attack wins.” ~General Ulysses S. Grant
“In the time of darkest defeat, victory may be nearest.” ~William McKinley…
“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” ~George Washington
On Ethics & Taking a Stand:
“An honorable defeat is better than a dishonorable victory;” ~Millard Fillmore…
“Unswerving loyalty to duty, constant devotion to truth, and a clear conscience will overcome every discouragement and surely lead the way to usefulness and high achievement.” ~Grover Cleveland
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power” ~Abraham Lincoln
“Life is never easy. There is work to be done and obligations to be met – obligations to truth, to justice, and to liberty.” ~John F. Kennedy