by Bob Whitesel DMin PhD, Church Revitalizer Magazine, Aug. 1, 2018.
Family Time vs. Church Time
Finally the fourth area is the important aspect of carving out time with your earthly family and your heavenly family (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). During some of my most successful years in ministry my children were young. And though they had have great memories from their childhood, I wish I’d spent a bit more time with them. I could have had more deep dialogues with them. I could have known them even better. And this is good not only for our earthly family, but our heavenly family as well.
Solution: Later in my years as a turnaround pastor I found that I benefited greatly by taking two days off every week to be with my early family (recreation) and my heavenly family (in scriptural meditation and prayer). On those two days every week I did no church business. I viewed those days as a sabbatical. If God, the all powerful creator of the universe took off a seventh day to rest (commanding it upon his children as one of his 10 commands) then I need something more regular and restful than a couple of partial days off each week.
These four principles helped me not only survive ministry, but enjoy it and thrive in it.
Read more at … https://churchhealthwiki.wordpress.com/2018/09/25/spiritual-formation-helpful-vs-hurting-disciplines-how-to-thrive-in-ministry-by-choosing-the-best-spiritual-practices/
Commentary by Dr. Whitesel: “Much has been made of recent research that found 72% of African-American children are born to unwed parents (http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/22/chapter-3-demographic-economic-data-by-race/). But, research also shows (below) that Black fathers spend more time w/ their children (e.g. with homework, feeding and bathing) than white or Latino fathers. And this is true even when comparing non-coresidential fathers.”
Fathers’ Involvement With Their Children: United States, 2006–2010
by Jo Jones, Ph.D., and William D. Mosher, Ph.D., US Division of Vital Statistics
Objective—This report measures fathers’ involvement with their children. Father involvement is measured by how often a man participated in a set of activities in the last 4 weeks with children who were living with him and with fathers in their children’s lives has been associated with a range of positive outcomes for the children.
Methods—The analyses presented in this report are based on a nationally representative sample of 10,403 men aged 15–44 years in the household population of the United States. The father-involvement measures are based on 2,200 fathers of children under age 5—1,790 who live with their children and 410 who live apart from their children, and on 3,166 fathers of children aged 5–18—2,091 who live with their children and 1,075 who live apart from their children.
Results—Statistics are presented on the frequency with which fathers took part in a set of age-specific activities in their children’s lives. Differences in percent distributions are found by whether the father lives with or apart from his children, and by his demographic characteristics. In general, fathers living with their children participated in their children’s lives to a greater degree than fathers who live apart from their children. Differences in fathers’ involvement with their children were also found by the father’s age, marital or cohabiting status, education, and Hispanic origin and race.
Read more at … http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr071.pdf
by Jeffrey Passel: Senior demographer at the Pew Research Center, and Laurence Steinberg: Professor of psychology and author of the forthcoming book, ‘Age of Opportunity: Lessons From the New Science of Adolescence’
The shape of the family has been changing for a long time, but the Pew Research Center is detecting another trend: Adults in their 20s and 30s living with their parents or grandparents.
By 2012, almost one in four young adults lived in multi-generational homes, up from 18.7 percent in 2007 and 11 percent in 1980.
Read more at … http://www.mprnews.org/story/2014/08/05/daily-circuit-multi-generational-living
Commentary by Dr. Whitesel: “In your sermon this Father’s Day reach out to this increasing segment of fathers. Use these demographics to craft a Father’s Day sermon so that you will help the growing number of fathers that are serving their children as their stay-at-home caregiver. Sometimes the church assumes that the traditional family make up will persist, when actually the demographics are changing as this InfoGraphic from Pew Research demonstrates.”
“The number of fathers who are at home with their children for any reason has nearly doubled since 1989, when 1.1 million were in this category.2 It reached its highest point—2.2 million—in 2010, just after the official end of the recession, which spanned from 2007 to 2009. Since that time, the number has fallen slightly, driven mainly by declines in unemployment, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data.3”
Read more at … http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/06/05/growing-number-of-dads-home-with-the-kids/
by Jamie Calloway-Hanauer, Christianity Today, 4/28/14
“You don’t have to be a parent to care for children in need.”
“While much attention has been given to the work of international adoption and setting up in-country orphan care overseas, we also have approximately 400,000 children in foster care in this country. The Christian Alliance for Orphans calls them “social orphans,” noting that during the time children are in foster care they are without the support, protection, and provision of their biological parents…
By focusing locally, Christians—no matter their marital, financial, or educational status—can serve the orphans who live among and perhaps even become a regular and stable part of these children’s lives…”
Read more at … http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2014/april/six-ways-single-christians-can-help-orphans.html
Commentary by Dr. Whitesel: “Churches will learn that by accommodating the children of employees on special occasions they can not only increase employee satisfaction but also dedication. Read this intriguing story how a Silicon Valley CEO created a stronger team by accommodating as needed the children of employees.”
ARTICLE by Sabrina Parsons,Harvard Biz Review
Read more at … http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/04/why-i-tell-my-employees-to-bring-their-kids-to-work/
Does Having Children Make Parents More Active Churchgoers?
by The Barna Group, 5/4/10
“How does having a child change a parent’s level of church involvement?” This question was explored in a new research study, conducted by the Barna Group in partnership with Orange, a division of the reThink Group. The nationwide study conducted among nearly 700 parents of children under the age of 18 asked respondents to describe how having children affected their connection to a church or faith community.
Read more at … https://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/391-does-having-children-make-parents-more-active-churchgoers
List of Retreats and Getaways for Church Leaders
by Ed Stetzer
“Recently, I posted to Facebook and tweeted a number of times asking people to share some places where pastors can recharge and be encouraged at a steep discount, or even for free. Pastors need vacation and counseling too, and oftentimes the opportunity for pastors to get away or seek counsel is not readily available or easily affordable. (I’ll be posting the counseling options soon.)
This is not a list I am creating for my family. I (and you can) stay atLifeWay’s Ridgecrest Conference Center. They have a “Minister Getaway” at $44 per night, which is a great way for a pastor’s family to have a nice vacation away from the hustle and bustle of life.
Below is a long list of numerous camps, retreat centers, bed and breakfasts, and otherwise that has discounted or free opportunities for pastors and their families to take some time away from home, away from everything that surrounds leading the people of God. The list is organized by state…”
Read more at … http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2014/march/free-or-discounted-getaways-for-pastors.html?paging=off
by Relevant Magazine
“There are a lot of different stereotypes about PK’s—some more fair than others—but maybe the safest thing you can say about being a PK is that it sets you up with some expectations. Every Sunday morning, you’re on a stage (sometimes literally), with members of the congregation going through a mental checklist of how you do or don’t fit in with their preconceived notions of what the son/daughter of a preacher man ought to be like.
There’s no blueprint for what becomes of PK’s. Some of them go on to become pastors themselves. Some of them hightail it out of vocational ministry fast as possible. And some of them, well, some of them go on to be stars. Here are a few of them… http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/music/recommends/2014-03-07#JtHCkItPWgeeMrhD.99 “
For Millennials, Parenthood Trumps Marriage
by Pew Research Center
Throughout history, marriage and parenthood have been linked milestones on the journey to adulthood. But for the young adults of the Millennial Generation1, these social institutions are becoming delinked and differently valued.
Today’s 18- to 29-year-olds value parenthood far more than marriage, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of attitudinal surveys.
A 2010 Pew Research survey found that 52% of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life. Just 30% say the same about having a successful marriage– meaning there is a 22 percentage point gap in the way Millennials value parenthood over marriage.
Read more at … http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/03/09/for-millennials-parenthood-trumps-marriage/
Here is an excerpt from an article about Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University:
Through more than three decades of systematic research, [Carol Dweck] has been figuring out answers to why some people achieve their potential while equally talented others don’t—why some become Muhammad Ali and others Mike Tyson. The key, she found, isn’t ability; it’s whether you look at ability as something inherent that needs to be demonstrated or as something that can be developed.
Michael Graham Richard gives an overview of Carol Dweck’s comparison of how your mindset affects your parenting and your leadership.
Read more at … http://michaelgr.com/2007/04/15/fixed-mindset-vs-growth-mindset-which-one-are-you/
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