FEEDBACK & Harvard research shows “negative feedback” only works – when the recipient truly feels valued by the giver: 4 things to do.

Surprising Harvard Research Says Giving Negative Feedback to Peers Won’t Work (Unless You Do 1 Simple Thing)

by Scott Mautz, Inc. Magazine, 1/16/18.

“Harvard researchers say we’ve got it all wrong on giving negative feedback to peers. It’s useless if you don’t do this too.”

Giving negative feedback to peers can be as stressful and confounding as figuring out how to give feedback to your boss or how to give feedback to a difficult employee.

And now new research from Harvard says you might be wasting your time in doing so anyway.

The Harvard study indicates that giving or receiving peer-to-peer negative feedback rarely leads to improvement. In the study, coworkers that received negative feedback simply chose to avoid the corrective co-workers and sought to be around and strike up new relationships with more self-affirming co-workers. This is a process the researchers call “shopping for confirmation” (which sounds like the album title of a reunited boy-band).

As the study noted:

“There’s an assumption that what motivates people to improve is the realization that they’re not as good as they think they are. But in fact, it just makes them go find people who will not shine that light on them. It may not be having the intended effect at all.”

So this is terrific news for all of us that don’t exactly love doling out criticism, right? We’re off the hook because what’s the point, right?

Nope. There’s a catch.

Peer to peer negative feedback can work–when the recipient truly feels valued by the giver.

Again as the researchers noted:

“We put employees in a position to deal with dueling motivations: I need to feel I’m valuable, and I need to improve. And we don’t do a good job reconciling them with our feedback mechanisms.”

… Here are simple things you can start doing today:

1. Compliment them on who they are, what they do, or how they do it.

And be specific within this specificity. Being precise implies you care enough to notice and to take the time/brain power to thoughtfully articulate your appreciation…

2. Invest in their career.

Imagine how it would feel if all your co-workers felt truly invested in you and wanted to help you succeed in your career. Now give that energy to a co-worker.

Take the time to share balanced, thoughtful feedback (remember, corrective feedback will be more likely to work because you’re showing you value them by executing this very list). Find out what’s important for advancement in their career and gear your feedback towards that. And tell their boss when they’re over-delivering on a criteria/attribute important for their function.

3. Make them look good.

Give them credit (genuinely deserved) in public whenever you can–if they’re cool with that. It speaks to your genuine interest in seeing them succeed, as will your tougher feedback when the time comes.

4. Seek out their advice, listen, and act on it.

Some of the most satisfying moments in my career weren’t always when my boss agreed and took action on something I suggested, but when a peer did. It’s about relationships, not reporting lines.

Read more at …
https://www.inc.com/scott-mautz/surprising-harvard-research-says-giving-negative-feedback-to-peers-wont-work-unless-you-do-1-simple-thing.html

FACILITIES & Churches that base their decision solely on price get exactly what they are after #TonyMorgan

“5 Mistakes Churches Make with Building Projects” by Tony Morgan, 4/12/10.

Tony Morgan says “Churches that base their decision solely on price get exactly what they are after.”

(Thanks to Sarah for finding this.) Read more at … https://tonymorganlive.com/2010/04/12/5-mistakes-with-building-projects

FACILITIES & A Video Introduction to Avoiding Missteps w/ Ministry Facilities

by Bob Whitesel D.Min., Ph.D., 11/17/17.

In this video introduction I explain how missteps with facility expansion, renovation or even just reallocation can severely hinder church health.  If you are a colleague, student, client or friend who would like to undertake an exercise designed to help you analyze past missteps and how to avoid them, start with this video intro.  Then read a chapter on this I have penned available HERE: BOOK ©Whitesel EXCERPT – GROWTH BY ACCIDENT Missteps with New Facilities 2. (If you like the insights please support publisher and author by buying a copy here. The download is excerpted from my book: Growth by Accident – Death by Planning: How Not to Kill a Growing Church, Abingdon Press, 2004, pp. 76-80.)

©️Bob Whitesel 2017, used by permission only.

 

FAILURE & Video of the author of ENTHUSIAST! reading how Wesley overcame early failures

Watch this video of the book’s author reading a chapter (Chapter 6: Lessons from Failure) about how the adult Jacky (now John) learned two lessons:

Lesson 1: Early successes can lead to overconfidence

Lesson 2: Fear of death can test our readiness to be judged for our life.

©️Bob Whitesel used by permission only.

 

 

FORGIVENESS & A video introduction to Corrie ten Boom #LEAD600

Commentary by Prof. B: Students in my LEAD 600: Strategic Leadership and Management look at the life of Corrie ten Boom as an example of forgiveness in the face or heinous racial and religious persecution.  Watch this video for a powerful 4 minute introduction:

 

FEEDBACK & Don’t Criticize Your Boss? Here’s Why You Should #SimonSinek

By Abraham Rozenbaum and Jardley Jean-Louis, Inc Magazine, 9/11/17.

Author of Find Your Why, Simon Sinek says that you should help your boss the same way you would help a friend. Inc. Magazine,

https://cdnapisec.kaltura.com/p/1034971/sp/103497100/embedIframeJs/uiconf_id/36374171/partner_id/1034971?iframeembed=true&playerId=kaltura-video-player-VideoPlayer-347&entry_id=1_f9mexoos&flashvars%5BstreamerType%5D=auto

https://www.inc.com/video/simon-sinek/dont-criticize-your-boss-heres-why-you-should.html

 

 

FORGIVENESS & TV newsman stunned by forgiveness incarnated by Coptic Christians of Egypt #TheBibleSociety

https://vimeo.com/212755977?ref=tw-share

View more at… https://vimeo.com/212755977/description via The Bible Society of Egypt, 4/15/17