NEIGHBORING & 3 ways to reach non-religious people in your community.

Commentary by Dr. Whitesel: I have been recommending the concept of “neighboring” as a way to connect with those you live among in a loving, helpful manner. Here are examples drawn from a young couple who planted a church and which grew based upon the principles of neighboring.

by Ben and Lynley Mandrell, LifeWay, 10/12/20.

…According to recent findings by LifeWay Research, 94% of today’s churchgoers grew up with a connection to the church. Let that sink in: Almost everyone listening to your sermons grew up going to church. We’re not reaching very far.

…This means only 6% of churchgoing adults say they didn’t attend church as a child.Why aren’t we talking more about them—and the scores of other unchurched who are yet to be reached?

Having said this, equal attention should be given to the fact that our non-religious friends aren’t showing up at our churches. The pastor is preaching to the choir most Sundays. 

…Unless something changes, the majority of Americans will grow up away from the church with little chance the church will reach them.

here are three strategies we, along with our church in Denver, Colorado, employed to reach people who are skeptical of Jesus and His followers.


There’s a reason C.S. Lewis wrote children’s novels: He believed story was the best way to impart truth into the heart. But he also saw the fertile, soft soil of a child’s soul.

…Kids invite their friends to fun activities. Whenever we planned a block party or outdoor movie, we encouraged families to involve their kids in engaging their peers.

There would be no awkward, surprising gospel presentation at the end of the night. The purpose of the event was to provide free fun and to build friendships.

…The only announcement would be a soft invitation to a next-level event (a marriage class, a women’s gathering, or a men’s outing).

…Bottom line: Create a series of fun events for kids and challenge the children in your church to invite their friends. You might be surprised who shows up.


In our church, we often said, “Invite people into your life, not to a location.” Of course, the end-goal was to see lives transformed by the gospel. But we recognized the journey for most non-religious people was gradual.

Putting evangelism on the calendar in hard-to-reach places is highly ineffective. Utilizing mission teams that arrive with a passion for confrontational evangelism is pressurized for the evangelist.

A far better strategy for reaching today’s non-religious crowd is to bake what we call “neighboring” into the DNA of the church. 

Our church staff meetings often began by the two of us sharing a story of an intentional relationship we were building with new, non-believing friends. We couldn’t control outcomes, but we could control effort.

We celebrated purposeful relationships and prayed as a staff for specific people we longed to see in our weekend services.

In the COVID-19 world we now live in, there’s never been a better time to push your church toward a neighboring mentality. 

Challenge everyone in your congregation to draw a map of their street and begin filling in the names of the people who live in each house. Push them to pray for those families and individuals by name.

As Christians take on the mindset of living like a missionary on their street, they’ll start to enjoy evangelism rather than being intimidated by it. When evangelism is everyone’s job in the local church, the number of lives touched by the gospel will multiply.


But from the moment our unchurched friends started showing up on Sundays, the sole aim of my preaching was to make the metanarrative of Scripture crystal clear to the first-timer. Every sermon mattered, and the words and tone I used were critical. 

As a preacher begins to show increased sensitivity to the spiritual explorer, church members gain increasing confidence in bringing their non-religious friends to a service.

…A few principles I (Ben) followed:

  • Say, “If you’re new to the Bible” at least three times in every sermon. Any time you introduce a term that sounds “churchy,” stop and recognize that some might stumble over the terminology. When Paul uses the word sanctified, stop and say, “If you’re new to the Bible, you may wonder what in the world that word means. Let me explain.”
  • Provide more context than you’re inclined to do. If you’re preaching from Nehemiah, it’s not enough to simply teach the story that Nehemiah felt burdened about a broken wall. You must show the connection to the larger story and provide the background necessary to grasp its importance.
  • Speak about people as if they’re in the room. A non-religious person will be uncomfortable with that form of strawman preaching that mocks other worldviews. Apologetics is important to preaching in any context, but be sure to amplify the beauty of the Christian worldview—not tear down others. Making fun of or vilifying people from other faiths or speaking about them in uncharitable ways won’t help you gain ground with skeptics.

Read more at …