by Lynne Maurine Hurdle, Psychology Today, 12/26/17.
Bold leadership requires viewing and responding to some of the most common conflicts in ways that show you understand both the nature of conflict and where the answers really reside.
1.Cultural Differences Conflict
Bold Response: Be committed to leading a diverse team/brand family and state that
as a purposeful intention of yours, because of all the good it brings to the
company/brand. Acknowledge the work that it will take to find ways to build a
harmonious team that works well together and then set up a conversation to talk
about work styles and their relationship to culture. Consult expert materials, podcasts,
conversations to prepare yourself and to use as resources with the team/*brand
Reflection Response: Be honest with yourself about your own knowledge in this
area. Reflect on your fears about taking this on and why they come up for you.
Breathe and then decide on a first step for the conversation.
2. Personality Conflicts
Sometimes people just don’t get along. They’re just a bad mix and sometimes it
is just a clash of people who have no conflict resolution skills. Either way, these
conflicts hold up productivity, build resentment and create an unpleasant work
Bold Response: Make sure that your conflict resolution skills are up to par. If
not, seek expert help. In the meantime, bring the people in conflict together
and mediate the conflict. Help them put solutions in place and make sure there
is a plan to revisit this and discuss progress and any setbacks.
Reflection Response: Be honest with yourself about how conflict makes you
feel and where those feelings come from. Think about ways to relieve the stress
it causes for you and for your team/*brand family…
3. Social Media Revenge Conflict
We are living in a time where people can use the platform and power of social
media to vent their dissatisfaction with anything and anyone they feel wronged
by. So, what happens when someone who used to work for you takes to the
internet to complain about you?
Bold Response: Commit to not being held captive by the threat of someone
“ruining your reputation” or bad-mouthing you. Know who you are, who your
company/brand is and stand by that. Respond to their complaint with an
invitation to listen and correct what you can if it can and needs to be corrected.
Remember that every attack does not deserve or need a response so if the
attacks continue, measure your responses and then be clear when you are no
longer engaging. Commit to learning from any mistakes made and then go back
to doing your important work in the world.
Reflection Response: Breathe. Three second belly breaths in and three second
belly breaths out. Do this five times. Relax your shoulders, tune in to where
there is tension and breathe in to those parts of your body and ask the tension
to release itself. Notice the irrational fears that are surfacing within you and
remind yourself of the good work you do and the people who have your back.
Commit to no longer giving this your attention once you are done responding.
4. Gossip and Complaints Behind Your Back
This is not about social media, this is about folks sitting in the meetings or having conversations with you and assuring you that everything is going fine with them and the work. In reality, you find out that they are actually creating a toxic environment by gossiping about you and/or others and complaining about the work, the culture and most especially you.
Bold Response: You have to get right to it and speak directly about this to the people who are engaging in this behavior. Be clear about the company/brand culture that is being built and provide an opportunity for them to offer up their complaints to you..,
Reflection Response: Set some silent time to get grounded in your purpose and the kind of culture you are determined to create. Tune in to the possibility that you are giving off the vibe of someone who is not approachable and to be feared. Think about who might give you objective insight on this.