“A UPenn psychologist uses the ‘Hard Thing Rule’ to teach her kids to take control of their success” by Shana Lebowitz, Business Insider Magazine, 5/8/16.
Towards the end of the book, Duckworth gives readers a glimpse into how she applies her findings on grit in her own life, specifically with her two daughters…
The Hard Thing Rule has three parts:
1. Everyone in the family has to do something that’s hard.
Specifically, Duckworth said, it has to be “something that requires practice, something where you’re going to get feedback telling you how you can get better, and you’re going to get right back in there and try again and again.”
2. You have to finish what you start.
“…Or if I’ve paid the tuition for your set of piano lessons, you’re going to take all those lessons and you are, as you promised your teacher, going to practice for those lessons.”
3. No one gets to pick the hard rule for anyone else.
“Even when my kids were five [and] six years old,” Duckworth said, “they were given some choice in what their hard thing was.”
“I think it’s very important to send the message that, while parents are needed to remind you to practice and occasionally force you to finish things … they also need to learn to respect you. You as an individual ultimately are the captain of where you’re going…”
The point is for parents to help their kids find something they’re interested in and then help grow that interest, while at the same time modeling grit and showing how far it can take you.